We now join a public service announcement, already in progress

Since the rise of HIV in the 1980’s, sexually transmitted diseases have changed the global society. Where sex was thought of as “free and happy” in the 1960’s and 70’s and throughout the sexual revolution, the 80’s ushered in a new era of sex as “free and happy and unsafe”. Middle-class Caucasian women in their 30’s are the fastest growing group battling STD’s. People, let’s not allow the spread of life-altering and life-ending diseases to ruin sex for everyone. Let’s talk about sexual safety.

Most of us underwent excessively embarrassing Sexual Education in high school—you remember that class wherein they separated the girls from the boys and everybody had to practice putting condoms on bananas. Amidst the giggles and eye rolling, you hopefully learned an important lesson: have all the sex you want, just be safe and healthy about it. I know it makes you uncomfortable to think about it, but Mrs. Johnson was right, although we can all agree that her campy sweaters were all wrong. Thanks to the caring, seriously underpaid teachers, most of us are now pretty comfortable using condoms, and live by the motto “Get it on, or there’ll be no getting off”.

But condoms don’t protect you when you’re playing nice and going down on your hot girl date. It is important to protect your sensitive oral cavity from sexually transmitted diseases like HIV, herpes, or warts (seriously, you do NOT want warts or herpes all over your mouth; not only is it uncomfortable, but you won’t be getting any action for a long while). Enter the Latex Dental Dam. Simply cover the pussy with this thin sheet of flavored latex, and you can give or receive all night long.

Most often found in the lesbian sex toy section, dental dams work like this: remove the sheet of latex from the packaging. Place over anus or vagina, being careful to cover the entire area. It is important to be careful that only one side of the latex sheet comes in contact with the anus or vagina—if you remove the dam for other play, it is best to simply trash it and get out a new one when you need it.

It is important to note that latex dental dams offer more than just sexual safety and prevent the spread of disease. For those who really don’t like the taste of pussy, or have reservations about flossing with hair from down-there, dental dams come in a variety of flavors like strawberry and grape. These flavored safety nets will help both persons enjoy cunnilingus to the fullest climax.

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